we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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