all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
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