Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
