If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
They have beer where we have blood.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
