her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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