there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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