Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
