Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I think I sprained my soul last night
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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