so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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