I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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