So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize