Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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