babies were throwing up all over the place
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Help. Why am I so naked?
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