I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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