worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
We're too hungover to prance.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
