i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
