watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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