I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize