i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
