mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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