Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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