I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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