Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
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You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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