i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
