Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
