if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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