I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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