I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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