Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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