I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
