what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
