Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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