I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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