You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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