I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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