member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Randomize
