Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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