where am i from again
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
