Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
