Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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