It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
