I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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