best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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