the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
