I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
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I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
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It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
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