Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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