So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
