So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize