you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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