I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
