Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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