I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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