It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
