I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
