Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Randomize
