she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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