Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
