Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
