so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
